


I Will Beg

by imaginary_witness



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, M/M, Mild Gore, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 03:59:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_witness/pseuds/imaginary_witness
Summary: After Abbas holds a grudge at Altair, he realizes that his childhood friend is no longer the same he knew. Reaching out to see if his grudge is the cause of this change, Abbas uncovers that their friendship was something more that he took for granted. (Alternative Canon Universe)





	I Will Beg

**Author's Note:**

> Ratings: PG13/Teen  
> Warnings: Gore (mild)  
> Genre: Fantasy, Angst, Hurt/Comfort,  
> Originally Published: May 6th, 2013 (Fanfiction.net)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story: living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Author's Notes: This pairing is odd. I understand a lot of people wouldn't imagine it ever working out. But they have a complex, unique dynamic that I find oddly satisfying. I don't always write AbbasXAtair, but I find them a cute pairing - even if they don't fully click. I just admire their childish innocence to go along with the pairing. Anyways, idea came to me one day, inspired by a fair few passages I read here and there of them and how they became friends and fell apart, etc. I know Abbas is normally not this "nice" per say, but here's a side of him that sheds some light on the man he might be or could have been.

I found Altair on a bench hugging himself. He was blended so well that for a moment I took him for a sickened, aged scholar. The evening was coming to a close and the setting sun casted a dark shadow over him. From a distance I saw his body shake. It was true what was being said around our guild, Altair had changed - and not at all for the better.

My first reaction was to laugh and leave, thinking he was pulling theatrics for attention. Though a part of me, deeper down, knew Altair was never the type. Could I really have affected him this much with my grief? Was it not only my burden to bear? I sighed feeling a deep sense of guilt and approached him, the dirt making soft crunches underfoot. His eyes flashed up but his body remained dormant. He bent forwards, resting his face in his hands and his elbows on his knees.

"Altair." I stopped before him. "Safety and peace my...brother." It took me some effort to spit out the last word.

He didn't respond, only swiped the back of his hand across his cheek and returned to his previous stance. I dropped to one knee and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Altair, what is causing you such distress?"

He shook his head this time, keeping his eyes down. I noticed his cheek shimmer in the growing darkness, his eyes sparkling with dew. I bent a forefinger under his chin and tilted it upwards to look into his eyes, shining brightly with tears.

"What happened to the Altair I knew?" I whispered, a sudden ache in my heart. "What happened to the fire of passion that I saw in his eyes? His fight? His drive? Hmm?" What happened to my friend, I silently wondered.

"Abbas," he whispered. "I fear I am losing myself."

He turned his head away, looking downwards. His body seemed to shake with sobs though I could hear no moans. Small circles of dust and dirt darkened as his crystal tears hit the Earth with soft thuds. I reached a finger out and caught one mid-fall, catching his attention.

"Altair." I whispered. I wrapped an arm around his shoulder and moved to sit beside him on the bench, rather than knell before him anymore. "All our lives you were the leader, the strong one. What happened to you Alty? Where did you learn to fall?"

He said nothing but bent to press his lips to my ear. I thought he was going to say something, to confess or share a secret. Instead, he pressed his lips against the shell of my ear and gave me a soft kiss. His lips were cold against my ear, brushing gently like a feather, and I could feel the chaffed skin that grew to cover a gash. I was confused but did nothing to startle him. In response I patted his back and he let himself fall into my lap, his face buried against my chest. I exhaled in surprise and just wrapped both my arms around him, giving him the shelter that he so dearly needed. I patted his head and held him close, rubbing his back as my mother used to do to me as a child. He seemed to calm slightly, though there was nothing I could think to stop the tears from falling. I just held him in the approaching night and kept him in the safety of my arms.

It seemed strange to me that Altair would trust me enough to allow me to hold him, especially with all the news going around, and our incident a few weeks back. It worried me and a part of me begged that he was not hoping for an easy death. As much as I hated him, even if for the moment, I didn't want him dead. I touched his hand and hushed him, feeling his cold skin against mine. It was not yet cold enough out for him to appear so sick and I wondered how he became so ill. His fingers curled over mine and I bent to curl around him protectively. The wind picked up at that moment, a long desert sigh that snatched at our cloaks and whipped our robes about my thighs, his ankles. He wrapped an arm around my waist and sighed, tears streaming down his face in silence to gather as a dark gray patch on my robes.

"Oh, Altair." I whispered, turning my gaze to the stars coming out, the purple skies. I searched for the constellations my father had taught me, whispering to Altair when I found them. He gave no response but it reminded me of when we shared a bunk as kids. I would make faces and jokes and he would giggle shyly. I held him and basked in the memories of the past I shared with him, whispering to him if he remembered any of them, to which he smiled or shyly nodded.

After a moment or so of soft breathing, I looked down to discover Altair had fallen asleep on me. A smile stretch across my lips and I pulled him closer, nestling him into a tiny bundle to hold. He made no objection or stirred and I took the opportunity to tilt his face upwards towards me. His face was pale and cold in the starlight, his lids closed. His face was strong, angular and taunt. His eyes, which I knew were of a deep woody brown, were wide as almonds, at this moment at peace and fairer than the rest of his skin, and his black lashes grew thick and full. In his sleep, even with his cheeks stained with tears, he seemed to be only an angel lost from Heaven. I brushed my thumb across one cheek, stopping to gently rub his marred lip. The skin there was dark red, forming a crusty brown scab. It was raised higher than his skin and seemed unwilling to stretch with the movements of his lips, as it was already ripping away from the wound. The skin would never grow back there proper again, and his lips would be forever maimed and scared. Bright red blood seemed caught in the ridges of the edges and stained the underside of my thumb, following it across his cheek. I switched hands to cradle him and pulled his hood lower over his face, attempting to give him a sense of security.

He needs a warm place to stay for the night, out of the way of harm, and I couldn't stay on this bench with him until morning. Sighing, I wrapped him in my outer cloak, the dark gray material draping over his thin frame and lifted him in my arms as I stood. The guild would have much to talk about, with me carrying the master home like a babe, but I would rather shield him from the gossip than leave him for dead. Bracing myself to support his weight, I began our ascend towards home, carrying with me a broken angel.

The training grounds were empty, save for two older assassins taking the last rays of light to keep in check. They were in the structured ring, their swords ringing out like gull cries. Grunts and huffs were audible, but I ignored then. Shifting Altair so his face rested on my shoulder, I began to feel a slight aching in my muscles. He might be thin but he still is a grown man, I reminded myself. Almost home, I thought. I heard a small, soft sigh, felt hot breath against my ear. He nuzzled his face against my shoulder, into the groove of my neck and his fingers curled slightly around the neck of my robe. I smirked, jerking him slightly to keep the life in my arms.

Once we mounted the top of the hill, I heard the swords stop clashing. Indiscernible voices whispered behind us. I knew this would happen, I reminded myself. Everyone's eyes would be searching for blood.

We passed through the big entrance doors, into the library. I took him through the main guild and began heading to the dormitories. He would need a place to rest and I would just have to give him one. He was too damn proud to go to anyone. And thanks to me no one would help him if he asked anyways. A few novices were in the library, and I felt the books in the shelves were being taken out for a hidden view of us rather than the actual necessity of the book. I mounted the stairs to the dorms, my foot placed on the first step when I heard my name behind me. After walking past all the whispering tonight, actually being addressed seemed odd.

"Abbas,"

I knew who it was before I even turned around. But I did turn around, after I closed my eyes and uttered a single prayer.

"Yes, Mentor?" I asked. I was whispering, and shifted Altair as little as possible. If he woke to me carrying him home, I know not how he would react.

Al Mualim stood before me, his black robes a heavy contrast in the dim orange lighting from the candelabras beside him. His beard and mouth barely moved as he spoke:

"What have you done?"

"Nothing wrong, Mentor. I simply sought Altair out to speak to him."

Altair shifted, groaning softly against my ear. I supposed he could hear me speaking as well as feel my vocal cords vibrating, with his face as close to my neck as it was.

"Please Mentor, let me put him to rest and then I will tell you all you wish to know."

I turned and put a foot on the stairs when he opposed my wishes.

"Abbas, why did you seek Altair out? He wished to be left alone. Have you not disrespected him enough?"

"Mentor, please. I just want him to rest. He's tired." I turned back to face him, pleading with my eyes.

Al Mualim stared at him resting against me. His eyes roamed up Altair's sleeping mass and then down me, continuing back upwards until his eyes met mine. He fluttered his hand directing me upwards. "Lead the way." He softly spoke.

I took Altair to my room, leaning against the door to support him against me as I twisted the knob. He made a small gurgle in his sleep and I realized he was biting his finger. With some difficulty, I threw back the covers on the bed and lay him in; pausing to untie his belts, boots, and armor. I realized for a warrior he wore so little. I readjusted his head on the pillow and pulled the small blanket over him. Much like the bureaus', my bed was just a fluffy blanket on the ground with light sheets for covers and pillows scattered about; but Altair seemed to like it. He curled his arm under a pillow and pulled it close, his teeth closing in on the point. He growled a little in the back of his throat and I felt a small smile stretch on my face. I turned to face Al Mualim.

"Come Mentor, let us speak outside."

"Abbas," he addressed me, just on the other side of the door. "What is going on between the two of you? Last I look, you're tearing Altair to pieces in the training grounds and now you are seeking him out and bringing him home ill? Is it that you cannot beat him in a duel so you would beat him with disease? You shou-"

"Mentor. I have done nothing to harm Altair tonight. Nor any other night since...that day. I swear it. I wasn't looking for him, honestly. But I sought him out because...well, because I heard he was not himself. That he was not doing well and that, to be honest, that he was different. More isolated, less...I heard he went back to how he was when his father passed."

"He has every reason to."

"Mentor?"

"Abbas, do not play dumb. You were Altair's closest confine. His best friend. He called you his blood brother! He did what he did to help you, not hurt you. He did what he could so you would no longer suffer. And all you did was shame him and exile him from the only family he knew. He is not as blessed as you Sofian, to have blood-relatives behind him."

"Mentor, I did not kn-"

"Do not say you did not know. You knew his past. You met him long ago. He did not seek your company, you sought his. And then to treat him the way you did was foolish and cowardly. It is no wonder he seeks his space and privacy. You hurt him beyond words, Abbas. For him to long for prayer and serenity should show you something of that at least."

"Mentor,"

"Nay. Do not speak Abbas. You have not earned the privilege to again. Nor have you learnt the privilege to see Altair again. You do not deserve a place in his life, let alone the place he has for you in his heart. "

He raised his hand as if to slap me but held it in its place. He stayed his hand and his eyes grew wide, although not altogether in unison and he slowly lowered his hand.

"Abbas, Altair is an eagle in every aspect of that spirit. He is fiery, he is passionate. He is gifted beyond belief, blessed with the honors of the gods, and above all that he is free. He is free to love and protect all he chooses. The eagle is just as just a symbol as it is as proud or strong. He should not have to have his heartstrings played upon by some fool such as yourself. Do not seek him out again, Abbas. He is not your burden anymore. He, like you said yourself, is not your brother."

"Mentor," My voice was weak and cracked as I spoke. I forced myself to swallow. "Mentor," I tried once more.

Before I knew it, my vision blurred. I blinked to clear it and felt the tears leak over the edge of my eyes. Al Mualim watched me as I cried, watched as I felt the recognition of pain and sorrow etch into my face.

"I...I will beg." I whispered.

My shoulders slumped and I leaned forward, suddenly exhausted by my task of carrying Altair. My body felt sore and weak and the emotional blow I was beginning to suffer was not helping.

"You think me a fool Sofian? I would not let you near Altair if you were the last assassin left." With that said , the mentor turned to walk away. He took about a step before he turned back and got up close to my face before whispering roughly, "Where do you think he got that marred lip from? What do you think he has to see every morning?"

And with that spoken, he turned and walked away, back down the stairway. I felt crushed, both physically and mentally. I heaved a heavy sob and fell back against the wall, my back sliding down it as I sunk to the ground. My heart hurt. My head hurt. Altair was inside hurting. And for all this I had no idea how we came to this point or what we could do to fix it.

 

* * *

 

 

I felt light streaming down across my face and squinted to realize the sun was just beginning to rise. My rear and back hurt from sitting against the wall all night and I realize I had fallen asleep crying. My eyes stung and I widened them to try to work some blood back to them. They felt dry and narrow. Heaving a sigh, I pushed myself up and decided to check on Altair. "Be damned with the Mentor." I whispered, angrily, annoyed that I had already spent the night crying for all who wished to see.

When I opened the door to the still dark room. I snuck in to avoid lighting the room any more than necessary and noticed Altair was still curled amongst the pillows. The thin cloth coverings were twisted about his legs, a small corner was being clutched towards his chin. He was no longer biting the pillow but a small stream of drool was dried against his cheek. His hair poked out from his hood and was tossed about, shaggy and unkempt. I felt a familiar smile creep onto my face and despite my exhaustion, I felt...right.

I checked over my shoulder to make sure I had closed the door on the way in and went to sit beside him. At first I planned not to disturb him, but a part of me would not allow me to sit there while he was wrapped so. I fussily began to gather the pillows about him, untangling the sheets from his robes and covering him to his chin.

Without meaning to, I smoothed the hair out of his face, brushing it back inside his hood. In doing so, I noticed the burgundy scab crusted on his lips. Raw and rough, the gash stood out brightly, faded his features without effort. Al Mualim's words echoed in my head, 'Where do you think he got that marred lip from? Where do you think...Where do you think...Where do you-'

"He could not have meant anyone other than me." I whispered to myself. Tears spilled like acid from my dried eyes, causing my swollen glands pain.

Searing pain flashed through me as I forced myself to recall how I hurt him. How I pulled his wounds apart to beat him down, how I pressured him into becoming defenseless. I realized with sick guilt that I had taken this eagle of the sky and broke its wings. It was no wonder this angel could no longer fly. I rubbed his cheek with my thumb, cradling his delicate face in my hand. He rubbed against it unconsciously and sighed. I leaned down closer, finding a strong urge in my chest to press my lips against his gashed ones. A small splash sprinkled miniature droplets of water up onto my face and I saw him wrinkle his nose in distaste. I realized one of my tears had spilt onto his face and I hastened to wipe it away, rubbing both his face, then mine.

The damage was done however and he scrunched his eyes tightly closed before opening them and blinking rapidly. He jump a little at first, unnerved by how close I was when he awoke. He yawned suddenly, and his hand flew up to cover his mouth.

"A-A-Abbas?" he questioned, as soon as he could speak.

"Yes, ...Altair?"

Blood poured down from his lips, the gash splitting open from his yawn. Tears of pain fell from his eyes and he hastened to wipe them away.

"Altair." I whispered, "Shh, shh." I got up and returned to him with a clean cloth I found. I pressed it to his lips and collected the blood there. "Why do you not get this stitched?" I questioned him.

"The healers said that they would not hold. They too would be pulled apart when I speak or eat, and so the wound would only grow."

"Has it improved?"

"Only just."

"I am sorry."

He turned to face me then, his eyes locking with mine.

"What. Did you say?" He questioned, eyes narrowing in disbelief.

"Altair...I am sorry. I am a fool."

"Abbas,"

"No Altair. I dishonored my family and I dishonored you. I was wrong to have hurt you so. And for that I beg your forgiveness." I whispered, my heart throbbing.

"Abbas,"

"I understand. You need time. Shall I bring you food? You must be starved." Heat flooded into my face and I wanted to run away. I just had the sudden desire to flee from Altair.

Altair seemed at a loss of words. He simply nodded, pressing the cloth against his mouth.

Safe in the kitchens below, I was shaking as I picked several fruit and tossed them together. To bide myself time, I began cutting the fruit into pieces, dicing them so he wouldn't need to split his lips more. Without meaning to, I began preparing a meal for two. One in which I was sure Altair would be more than willing to at the very least spend with me - if only just this once.

The kitchen began to have several older monks and younger not-yet novices spew about, getting things ready for those that have stayed the night or are returning this morn. I made a great effort to stay out of their way while I attempted to calm my racing heart. I found a flat piece of bark that would serve as a tray, the others were all being used by those around me. Placing the bowels onto the tray, I stumbled my way out of the mess of bodies and obstacles. I rushed to get around the corner and back up the stairs - my mood swings of getting away to being beside Altair beginning to give me whiplash.

"Abbas!"

Al Mualim stood just on the other side of the corner and I came to an abrupt halt to stop myself from rushing right into him.

"Mentor!" I exclaimed.

"What is the meaning of all of this?!"

I flushed red, embarrassed to be seen being scolded first thing in the morning, especially (no doubt) with the talk of what was witnessed just last night making its first rounds.

"I,..uhm...I..."

"Yes, Sofian? You were what?"

"Just heading up to-"

"Give Altair his morning meal?"

"Uhm, yeah." I mumbled, defeated. I flushed even more, heat pooling in my cheeks.

"And no doubt, stay and accompany him?" he questioned, his eyebrow raising as he took in the second set of food.

"Yeah." I practically whimpered.

"What did I say last night?"

"To leave him be." I sighed.

"Drop the attitude." He slapped me, hard. Harder than he usually slapped. The contact stung. I hung my head in response.

"So, are you going to disobey me and spend the morning with Altair, even when I tell you not to?" he seemed strangely calm for a man so mean.

"Indeed."

"Must I throw you in the dungeons for your ignorance? Or are you simply-"

"Mentor, may I just take Altair his food? He's awake and probably hungry and-"

"Fool! You spoke to him?!" His bad eye seemed even more disdainful today than usual.

"Uh, yeah." I mumbled.

"And I suppose now he is awaiting you?" His voice softened.

I nodded slowly twice.

"Indeed then. Go." He shoved past me and gripped my collar, pulling me to hiss into my face once more; "But you lay a Finger on Altair, and I will have you permanently removed. Are we understood?"

I nodded meekly. "Mentor I would never-"

"I've heard it before Abbas. Ahmal said the same thing to Umar you know." And with that he left me dumbfounded once more.

I took a deep breath and exhaled heavily, trying to muster up the strength to put on a brave face for Altair. When I was sure I was composed, I carefully opened the door and took a small step into the room.

"Abbas?" His voice was soft as soon as the door opened. I heard him suppress a cough.

"Altair, are you alright?"

"Fine, fine." He coughed some more, soft sounds into his fist. "Just the...smoke..." he mumbled, waving his hand through the smoky incents he lit.

"Let's move this then?" I asked, putting the tray down and putting the incents near the window.

He simply nodded and began to pray over the food, giving it God's blessing and thanking him for his gifts of food and hospitality. We joined hands over the food in prayer and in custom of our own making, fed each other our first bites. The corners of his mouth lifted slightly and I smiled in response. We ate in silence and for that I was grateful. To see Altair, a lot more like himself than he has been fairing the last few weeks, had me feeling a lot better. Perhaps, like our fathers, we were just too close to be broken, too deep in friendship and love.

"Altair." I reached across and placed my hand over his. He froze, mid-reach for the last of the fruit. His eyes shimmered as they rose slowly from the plates to meet mine. He seemed hesitant and I just allowed the moment to pass in more silence, trying to portray the meaning in my eyes. At long last, his face broke into a shy smile and I remembered the first time I got to see that smile appear because of me.

"Ab-"

"Altair."

He silenced himself, allowing me to speak. The air was sensitive. It was a fragile moment, a beautiful and delicate moment. One that could be so easily shattered.

"Altair. I have to ask, why do you shy away from us now? Not me in particular, but the assassins in general?"

He pulled back a bit, drawing himself up to straighten his back and his features scowled. This was not a good sign.

"Why does it matter, Sofian. I am no brother to you."

"Altair, I beg you, I was wrong. I am sorry."

"Save it, Abbas. I pull away because I realize just who I am. And in this guild, in this creed, in this world, I am no one."

"That's not true-"

"Abbas, please! I am not finished. I was not placed here to be a someone. I was put here to do His urethral being's wishes. I do not wish to be anything other than his humble servant and do what I must to keep the world good and pure and peaceful."

"I see." I said. I fell back to and we stared into each other's eyes.

"I do not want to forgive you Abbas. What you did, how you treated me. It is not something I can forget. But my heart would be wretched and my soul would be wronged if I did not forgive you. So I do. I forgive you."

My heart felt pained with his words. He did not forgive me for what I have done, excepting that his religion holds him to it?

"Abbas, what is it that you want to tell me? Because I can no longer stay where my feelings are not returned or acknowledged."

His words had taken the ability to speak from me and I cursed myself for ever attempting to tell him just whatever muddled thought process I had in my head.

"Altair. I need a moment. To arrange my thoughts."

He granted me the time I needed, not seeming impatient in the least. In fact, he sat upon his knees and began prayer; his lips murmuring words beneath his breath.

"Alright. I think I have an idea of what to say."

He kept his eyes closed, his lips moving. His hands closed together and I allowed him a moment to finished his prayer. When he was done, he sat cross-legged in front of me.

"Altair, I want to start off saying I am sorry. No matter," I held up my hand to silence him. "No matter how many times I say it, it will never be enough to erase the damage I have dealt you. Secondly, I want to say that I am pained to see you hurt. No, do not speak just yet, I am not finished. I want you to know that I was angry, yes. And I let my feelings blind me without realizing just how much harm I was causing, not only to you and me but to the creed as well. Altair, I want to fix this. I want us to go back to how we were, how things were. I -"

"Abbas."

I stayed silent.

"Thank you." he whispered, for what I am not quite sure. "I think I understand. But you made me realize, things will never be the same Abbas. And things cannot go back to how they were. I am sick of being empty. Perhaps it is better if we do not return to ourselves?"

"Altair, will you not tell me what it is you are speaking of?"

He opened his mouth to speak but I rushed with my words to cut him off. Instead of prying open his wounds with my fingers, I simply pried them with my words. "Altair, will you not confide in me as you once did? One last time?"

His eyes shimmered and I saw him consider the deeper meaning behind me words. And sudden a new glow enlightened his face. "Abbas, do you...do you mean to tell me you are not as blind as you act?"

"Altair, whatever do you speak of?"

"You...You noticed more than you let on."

"Indeed." I swelled a little for comical relief, something that kept Altair near and dear to me. If there was something no other can do, it was make Altair laugh. In which he did.

"Oh Abbas. I wish I could tell you exactly how I feel. I wish it could only be so easy."

"Altair," I pulled him closed and held his hand tightly in mine. "It is. Say whatever your heart feels like. Tell me anything. Nothing you say would ever be too-"

"Must I speak it?"

"Well, if you have another idea in min-"

Before I could even finish speaking, hot breath filled my mouth and Altair pressed his lips, ruined and rough, against mine. In getting so close to me, his weight pressed me back and we tumbled backwards into the pillows behind me, our lips never leaving each other's but opening in gasps of shock. He shyly smiled and I smirked, looking up at him now saddling me. He made to move off me and away but I swiftly reached up and pressed his head down, pulling him into another kiss. His cracked lips curved into a smile against mine and a fiery warmth flooded my heart.

"Oh Altair. Maybe-"

"Maybe this is just-"

"Just..."

"..meant?"

We tried to form words but all that came out was incoherent sentences. Footsteps passed by the door, other assassins rising or wandering in late. Many of our brothers and sisters trampling around to receive missions or training. And suddenly we both heard a pair of footsteps we knew all too well. We fell apart snickering just as we did as children. The sound of our laughter attracted the footsteps to halt at our door.

I snickered, holding my side which was aching from our laughter. Shadowed footsteps appeared at the crack under the door and I stole a quick kiss from Altair's lips before the door began to crack open. The black robes began to enter the room and we both knew the pair of gnarly eyes would be upon us soon.

"Oh Altair," I chuckled. "I fear we have disgraced the assassioons." To which we both collapsed in a state of giggles.


End file.
